Doesn't this only happen to fifty year old men??

So it seems I've either badly strained or torn my achilles tendon a bit. Either way, I'm walking around in this stupid boot, all the while feeling like somebody is sticking hot pokers into my heel. I wish I could tell you it was some game winning goal, but the sad truth of the matter is that I don't know exactly when it happened. The fact that I play soccer poorly (but with gusto!) makes the whole thing sadder still...

They say because of poor design (read: minimal blood supply), these things take a long time to heal (*snerk* heal... heel...). All I can tell you is that I'm pretty sure an amputated foot would grow back faster than this is taking.