Ouch

In the words of today's charge nurse, "there's sad and then there's terribly sad."

Sad: causing or associated with grief or unhappiness

Terrible: difficult, extreme, great, extremely bad

This patient wasn't just sad. This patient was terribly sad.

No thanks, I'll just die...

I've laughed with friends about when to pull the plug on me. I think I've made it clear that except in certain circumstances, I'm DNR. For the love, please just let me go peacefully! One of the other things that I refuse under any circumstance is a rectal tube. Do what you must, but when it comes time for that, I'll pass thanks.

I thought that was the worst, but boy was I wrong! Apparently to cure C. Diff (for which you usually have the rectal tube in the first place), they are now doing "fecal transplants." Dear sweet Jesus, I can't handle it. I'll take death with dignity over diarrhea and a poop transplant any day!

Sick.

Addendum: How in the world are rectal tubes over $600?? Especially considering most of them leak anyway!

...but it was called in my favor

When the ref says, "I saw that coming fifteen yards away," you are probably too stunned on the ground to hear him. And when your eyes stop watering enough to see everybody's concerned looks turn into laughter, it's time to get out of the dirt and start running again.

Here's to hoping I don't wake up with a black eye!

The kid in the hall

I've been reading Ali's African Adventures for some time now. I really admire both her writing and perspective on her job. She's doing something I would very much like to do in the future. Some of her stuff is serious and other stuff is hilarious. 

Her most recent post cracks me up. After reading her blog for a while, you begin to understand how lucky we are in US hospitals and how very different healthcare is abroad (especially, in her case, Liberia). It appears, however, that one thing is universal- you can't be naked in the hall.

The Beast likes milk

Why am I surprised? Also, is this normal?

I dare you

You know those questions that seem inane enough, but are loaded in a way that they shouldn't be? I've found a new one: 

Do you brush your dog's teeth?

I'm amazed at the intensity of the responses in both camps. Try it sometime. Stir the pot a bit.

This is a test, only a test

Is it bad that it's not unusual for my fire alarm to go off? When I'm cooking?

I think it's genetic because my dad used to routinely set off the fire alarm with his toast in the morning.

More shower stories!

I'm as big a proponent of shaving lets as the next woman (I think?). I mean, not every day and certainly not as often in the winter (TMI?), but in general I think it's good form. Call me a societal lemming or what have you, but it's the conclusion I've reached.

That said, in the process of shaving your legs, has it occurred to anyone else how odd it is that we scrape razors across the length of our legs in the name of being hairless? In fact, it struck me as rather absurd the more I thought about it.

Boldly going where no dog has gone before

I got a no-pay today (which is to say I got a last minute day off with vacation pay, for you non-medicals). That's good considering I went to The Paperboys last night. I'm convinced I will never tire of them and will always dance and laugh at every show. You may enjoy their music, but you'll never be able to truly appreciate them until you go to a show- and this from a non-show goer! But yeah, it was a late night...

So this morning I took The Beast to the park myself for her daily spazz out over The ball! The ball! Throw the ball! Throw it! Throw the ball! Good times on a gorgeous fall day here in Rain City (only it's not rainy at all today). Incidentally, did you know that the Northwest doesn't even enter the top rainiest cities in the U.S. until #24? And even then it's Olympia, not Seattle?

Anyway, we popped by Grandma's house for a bit where I dropped off some brownies and picked up some cookies and pickled beets. Did I mention how much I love pickled beets? No really, I love pickled beets almost as much as I love The Paperboys! So guess what I'll be having for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

Now we're chilling at home with the doors and windows open. I'm pooped and comfy in my purple leather chair and the dog is, well, the dog is getting bold. I knew she was not only sleeping on the bed when I was at work but actually on my pillow. It's a battle I won't fight, though, because, hey, she's staying home, right? I was a little surprised, though, to see her come in from the porch, look at me, and then hop up on the couch. She scratched at the blanket there for a few seconds then plopped down and made herself comfortable. Just who taught her that, I want to know?

Fit to be tied

I left my shin guards on the floor earlier and then walked away to take a shower. When I walked out of the bathroom a bit later, Gazza was at her usual post outside the bathroom door. This time, though, she looked up at me and whined. Bending down to see what was up, I saw that her back paw had slipped through the foot hole and the top velcro strap was stuck to her dreadlocked beard. And I laughed.

How else could I assure you that she and I are meant to be together?

Kicking more than just leaves on this beautiful fall day!

Despite that last post, I want to take a moment to brag: I'm not too terribly awful at soccer (just terrible). I'm proud of myself though not delusionally so!

I haven't fallen over the ball (not fallen onto the ground, at least) and can run pretty fast up and down the field. We only play on a third of the field, I admit, but with only five people on each team we run like mad! I also won't claim to be the most aggressive of our group (my knees start balking when I think of running into the melee), but I'm not very passive either. And my coaches like me!

Why am I "bragging" you might be asking yourself. Because after class today I kicked the ball around with a friend. The team using the field after us had a game for which the other team didn't show, so they were just scrimmaging. A guy came over and asked if we'd like to join! Making it clear that we have only "played soccer" two other times, they still welcomed us on the field. Did I mention these guys were amazing? It was a lot of fun, though, and we laughed a lot. But really, my point is to say that I scored a goal! That's right, it was an ugly one but I scored!! And then I helped with a goal assist! 

Though these two things probably don't begin to offset my many ridiculous kicks into thin air, kicks offside, and practically handing the ball to the other team... I'll take them- and pretend I did it on purpose. I felt like one of the cool kids when they thanked us and told us that we did well. Weee!

My mind, it boggles!

I'm not sure what's come over me lately, but I'm just not with the program! My mind is anywhere but here. More times than I'd like to admit in the past month, I've gotten into the shower with my glasses on, put milk in the cupboard, and even parked the car and walked away only to realize I can't find my keys... because they're still in the ignition with the car running! At least I put it into park, I guess.

I'd like to tell you it's because I'm busy solving the great mysteries of the world, but the truth is I'm just lost in thoughts somewhat less productive (but probably more amusing?). So if you see me bumping into things and acting scatterbrained, just humor me and ask how my Big Bang theory is coming along, ok?

Next stop, domestic goddess!

The Beast and I did some baking tonight. We learned some things:

1. Baking soda makes whatever you're mixing expand. Choose the pot accordingly.

2. Label things. For example, do not take a swig of your homemade buttermilk (milk and white vinegar) when your regular milk is sitting two feet away.

3. Pot holders are not optional when reaching into a 400+ oven.

4. Flour can, in fact, go bad. 

It was an interesting evening. Now, brownies anyone?

And now you know

Breakfast. "The english word derives from the concept that sleep prevents eating, thus an involuntary fast occurs during sleep; this fast is broken by the first meal of the day, referred to as breakfast." (thanks, Wikipedia)

And don't I know it! There are usually two things on my mind when I first wake up- bathroom and food. Since my stomach and brain aren't on speaking terms, my belly wakes me up with loud growls. If I don't get food within an hour, I get desperate. 

While I have to eat, the list of things I can stomach within the first hour of waking up is quite short. And yes, peanut butter and cottage cheese is on it. How some people skip breakfast I'll never understand!

But I'm still smiling!

On Saturday I got a huge bruise on my left shin. Tonight I took a straight shot to my right inner arm. I'm curious to see how it will turn out. At the moment, it's throbbing and too sensitive to put ice on. Also, I hadn't had a skinned knee in years. My calves are super stiff and my neck hurts from a collision.

This is fun!!

No really. I don't know which part of me hurts the most, but the belly muscles used for laughing are in the running :)

Guess you can wear 'em twice then, eh?

There are days when you're absent-minded and then there are days when you change for bed and realize your underwear was on inside out all day.

Happens more than you'd think...

When no other word will do...

Wretched

1: deeply afflicted, dejected, or distressed in body or mind

2: extremely or deplorably bad or distressing

3: being or appearing mean, miserable, or contemptible

3: very poor in quality or ability

Food for thought

I feel compelled to say that this is not in response to anybody I know who has had a family member go through something like this. I feel it's worth posting because it paints a very realistic portrait of what happens all too often. He does it well and compassionately, I believe.

"It doesn't matter how hard you work or how many tests you order. Once a patient loses the heart for the good fight, the ultimate outcome is inevitable."

Please read the whole thing here.

What I do feel compelled to add is that sometimes (often more than we like to admit), letting go is the kindest thing. Their hearts may indeed be elsewhere- and that's ok.

Fun with science

So I was in the shower the other morning and was surprised at how far apart I could hold the lateral edges of my hands before the surface tension wasn't good enough and the water I had cupped started to just flow through. 

Try it sometime, you might be surprised!

For future reference

VooDoo Medicine Man has made a pretty awesome observation. Can I get an "amen" from you ER nurses?

I hurt...

Everywhere.

Maybe I should ease into the whole soccer and running thing. Also maybe I should invest in a pair of shin guards. I have a soccer ball sized bruise on my left shin...

*snicker*

Truth is often funnier than fiction.

...Anyway, they got everything fixed, and we filled up Granddads tank, checked the tires, and topped off the Wiper Fluid, before transporting him to the unit on an Epinephrine infusion that was dripping faster than that old broken faucet in my college dorm room that we never got fixed cause it would have cost money and we didn't pay for the water anyway...Grandpa died sometime later, not sure if it was his Kidney's who didn't have a sense of Humor about Hypo-Tension, or his Lungs were allergic to the swimming pool of Blood Products he got, or his Ticker didn't like the Aortic Crossclamp,or maybe his number came up in the Celestial Pick-6, but wateva it was, he died with a NORMAL HEMOGLOBIN by God!

Thank you Frankie!

Cool^2

At this very moment, my sitemeter is saying I've had 3,000 visits. Cool!

Also, I joined a soccer class (and then will join a league once I'm not deadly with a pair of cleats). It's fun!  The fall weather couldn't have been more gorgeous today and the people are awesome! Why did I wait so long to do this??

Musing

VW bugs are Seattle passe. We have now entered the age of Subaru (as seen at Greenlake this week)!

My car felt at home parked between the red and blue!

Trying to keep a straight face

Me

Oh look, his eyes are open! He's watching his big sister!

Big Sister

Yeah! He loves me! And this is the third time he's ever opened his eyes! The first time my mommy put the picture on her space!

Mommy

MySpace.

Big Sister

Yeah her space has lots of pictures of him!

Lights, car, action!

My car's dome light went out many months ago (six? eight?). I never bothered to replace it (or the one in The Beast's lair for that matter). I wouldn't usually mention such a blatantly lazy move (or non move in this case) except it's not just that I'm lazy- I abhor going to the car dealership.

Anyway, as I got into the car a few days ago, I noticed that the light now mysteriously turns on when the door opens. Weird.

How much energy can one 55 pound dog have??

This is the first day The Beast hasn't been doped up on oxycodone for a while. Each day as the narcs would wear off, she'd get really energetic and then go into coughing fits. She didn't cough much last night when I got home so here we are. In an effort to work off some of that pent up energy, we bladed twice around Greenlake today. 

She collapsed into the car when we headed home, so tell me, why is The Beast bouncing off the walls now? She keeps jumping and body slamming me. It's really funny, especially when she trips and summersaults. 

Stick it to me!

I got the flu shot yesterday at work. I have mixed feelings about it because I get the flu regardless every year. I guess it doesn't hurt anything (except my arm this morning! Holy moly my arm is killing me!), but still. What's the point? (needle... point... hahahehewhew. Come on, it was funny...)

Ahem, moving on. Now that I've taken a shot at beating the flu (hehe), we'll see how things go.

Random oddness

I've found I'm not so unusual in preferring to drink water without ice. What I'd really like to know, though, is if anybody else can't chew gum and drink water?

... no, not in the same way that I can't chew gum and walk... I mean, you get this rush of flavor from the gum making it difficult to swallow the water. I avoid it at all costs. Anyone else?

The crazee house

I was brushing my teeth last night when a gigantic moth flew into the bathroom, circling around me. Toothbrush in mouth, waving my arms above my head, I ran shrieking into the family room. The poor dog, roused from her narcotic coma, cocked her head at me and jumped up. Without thinking, I pointed to the bathroom and sputtered "go get it!" 

Surprisingly, she did. In fact, she jumped into the tub after the moth, leaped out and ricocheted off the toilet before jumping straight up to catch it. And then she walked calmly to me, dropped it at my feet, and sat down. By this point I'd already snorted toothpaste foam from laughing so hard. As it pathetically tried to fly away, bumping along the ground, Gazza kept picking it up and dropping it back at my feet. 

Figuring she didn't want to eat it (not that I blame her), I got the nerve up to squish the poor moth and toss it away. As I knelt down to give Gazza a hug and scratch her ears, she gave me one lick on the cheek. I was stunned.

I can count on one hand the number of times Gazza has "kissed" me. So tell me, how is it that she saved me last night and I get a kiss for it?

When staying inside isn't so bad

One of the things I love most about this apartment is the fireplace. I couldn't wait for the weather to get cold enough to light it up every night. Now that it's fall, I get to leave the porch door wide open and the fire going. Why is the door open, you might ask? Because I've no doubt the thing could heat the entire state of Rhode Island. The pilot light itself generates enough heat to warrant turning it off in the summer months.

The past several nights have been ideal for my favorite part of cold nights here in Seattle: I get the fire going, let a cool breeze in, turn off the lights, light the candles, and put on some mellow music. I love it. It's so cozy in here (especially in My Chair!). Time ceases to exist as I read, nap, or relax with Gazza snoring at my feet.

We should all be so lucky. And if you're super lucky maybe I'll let you join me :)

Lucky me

I was looking through some pictures the other day and ran across this one from the New River Gorge last fall:

It occurred to me that I've now seen the most gorgeous sunrise possible in the East and many equally beautiful sunsets in the West. 

Snippits

Went to a new church tonight. Still love FPCB but thought I'd give this one a try because it's closer and has a big group of people my age this side of Lake Washington. Nice folks but the jury is still out. Not exactly sure what I'm looking for, so we'll see.

But I wonder, what is it with big groups of people that completely shuts me down? I get seriously awkward. I'm not usually that socially retarded. Somebody help this girl...

The Beast is getting better, but I don't honestly know if it's because she's getting over it or because the narcotics are working. Have you ever heard a dog with kennel cough? I alternately laugh out loud and try to calm her down.

Cara and I went for breakfast at The Dish in Ballard this morning. I have to say it's not quite as awesome as the ol' Portage Bay Cafe, but it sure was good! Then we found all sorts of little treasures at the Fremont Market... 

Music dump... round two

I've been listening to a lot of Pandora lately. I've really fallen in love with my Joe Purdy playlist. And so for your listening pleasure today, here are some more new artists I've been enjoying (and could find samples to embed)...

Ray Lamontage: perhaps the most romantic singer ever, totally hot in my eyes, and here on a day that I work :(

Joe Purdy

Keb' Mo'

Bob Schneider

Deb Talan

(of the amazing duo The Weepies)

Ryan Adams

A.A. Bondy

Iron & Wine

You're welcome.

Don't judge a blog by it's cover...

Given that The Beast has begun acting like a dog and now stays home without self-destructing, I'm wondering if it's time for a new subtitle. Ideas?

In which I have fun with italics

The dog has kennel cough. First of all, she got the vaccination! Secondly, we were at the vet yesterday for her yearly checkup and she was just fine! So here we sit, not camping in the Cascades. Instead I am serenaded by the fire tonight by the soft melody of her hacking up a lung and throwing up. And that's with the narcotics (cough suppressant). *sigh* I wouldn't trade her for the world, though... Beast though she is, she's my beast.

So I have a question to pose. Regardless of how you all usually respond (email, in person, comments, whatever), I'd like to hear your thoughts. So here: we didn't curse in our family growing up. I mean, as kids we obviously didn't, but neither did our parents that I can remember. I know sometimes it seems only such a word will do, and I take advantage of that too. I notice pretty much every time one comes up, though, and don't usually care for it, but so it goes- they're just words. But really, how do you guys feel when people use them frequently? Do you even notice? And girls, is it a turn off when guys do that? I feel like it's really obnoxious and rude. Ready? Set? Discuss.

Seriously?

I can't claim to have the neatest place, so I get the whole messy thing. But really? 

By the time this posts I should be somewhere in the mountains with Jenny and our pups!

Exploring

A link to a friend's site. Good stuff there. I especially love the piece "Snowshoeing." Thanks for sharing Trevor!

Opinion time

In the spirit of posting my political view on Facebook, here's another one for you. I may get crap for this link, but I love this guy for saying it. We no longer have handicapped parking spaces- they are now known as entitlement zones.

Breathing easy

No pictures to prove it, but I had a great trip home. Of course I missed The Beast, but she was on vacation with Bob. Nicholas came home from his freshman year at IU for the weekend, so it was nice to see him and the lads (Chuck'n'Rudy) in addition to Mom and Dad. Spent a lot of time with my mom and introduced her to FAIL Blog and cake wrecks. Sometimes doing a lot of nothing around family is the best thing for a hurting mind and soul. Don't think I'll be making it home for the holidays, so this trip served double duty.

I was initially planning on hiding away at home and not telling anyone in Chicago of the visit, letting alone going in (sorry guys!). As I was heading home from the airport, though, I saw the skyline and decided I would actually like to spend some time in town. It was great. Jeremy had his birthday dinner at Goose Island (and Jill and Todd were able to stop by for hugs and beer!). Then we went to Second City for a show. Jeremy took improv classes there- I'm in awe of people who can come up with hilarity on the fly like that. Munoz gives me a two week grace period for comebacks- I could never hope to perform improv! But I like to think my inability gives me a better appreciation of it. So yeah, it was good local humor :)

Free dessert to follow was, well, the icing on the cake. The cafe was mostly deserted because the rest of the city was watching the Cubs hand over the Dodgers game in the NLDS. Oops. Jeremy got a totally rad apartment a few blocks from my old place, so we watched movies in anticipation of the city melting down after the game. Strangely it didn't happen. 

In writing I don't suppose it sounds all that grand, but I feel so much better! Also, I put my mattress heater on the bed tonight and relit the pilot light for the fireplace. Man I love fall :)

Pardon me, my ignorance is showing

Driving down 45th the other day, I saw a street cleaner. As it lumbered down the street, spinning brushes flinging water, it suddenly struck me as very absurd. What is the point of this?

I get picking up trash but scrubbing the street? Might my tax dollars be spent more efficiently?

Never Never Land?

There's this new thing in healthcare called "never events." These are events occurring in a healthcare facility whose resultant costs won't be covered by Medicare and Medicaid (surely to be followed by the insurance companies). These events include 

• death/disability surrounding surgery (wrong patient or body part, things left in the body after surgery, incorrect procedure)
• death/disability associated with incorrect/misuse/malfunction of equipment, medications, blood products
  
• assault within a healthcare facility
• abduction

Makes sense, right? Some of them, however, are much less clear and have the bedside community concerned. For example, the following are now considered "never events:"

• patient suicide
• death/disability associated with patient elopement (disappearance)
• maternal death/disability associated with labor or delivery on a low-risk pregnancy
• death associated with a fall 
• death/disability associated with use of restraints or bedrails 
• death/disability associated with hypoglycemia
• perioperative death in a normal health patient
  

I'm not saying they're ok to happen, but I do think there are instances where things happen anyway. We don't know enough about the body to guarantee surgery/delivery with a "normal" patient will not result in death (you sign consent for a reason!). Patients have free will and will do things against policy and orders (ie: get out of bed, do illegal drugs in the hospital, leave briefly to meet up with the dealer/shoot up). Not all areas of a hospital provide one-to-one care. I'm not alone in feeling that some "never events" are unrealistic in the healthcare setting.

This was an interesting post. Scary isn't it?

Time suck

I admit it, I'm addicted to Facebook. But really, I don't know anybody (besides my mom) who hasn't been sucked in after giving it a fair trial. Actually, Amanda is a diehard MySpace fan, but I choose to ignore that fact.

Anyway, I'm getting used to the "new Facebook" and it's growing on me. And then last week I discovered the chat feature. Oh man. I haven't been on AIM in years, but here we go again... As if I need any more incentive to be online.

Boing!

I seem to have regressed in my laundry skills. Lately I've had a run of the usual culprits making it into a load. For example, chapstick (that leaves stains only removed by multiple other washes) and various and assorted change.

When I took a load out of the drier the other day, though, I found two rather unusual surprises. First, a piece of blue glass. That I can explain- when I walk along the beach at low tide with The Beast, I've gotten into the habit of collecting particularly neat pieces of sanded glass. The blue ones are rare little treasures, so I'm glad I found it. Secondly, though, I found a three inch piece of bungee cord. That I can't explain.  I'm dying to know where did it came from!

Music dump

Listening to Pandora the other day, I fell in love with Brian McFadden. "Real to me" is the song that got me hooked:

Also, Bebo Norman has a new album! Just let this play and ignore the awfully cheesy pictures. I immediately fell in love with this song:

Happiness CAN in fact be packaged

I'm headed to Indiana to visit today. I'm pretty excited because even though I was just there in May, I need the trip home. I've decided that "home" is more or less where most of the family is (partly because it's a lot easier than deciding which town). Though if it strikes me, I usually claim Chicago.

Anyway, in finding a bag to pack last night, I found myself getting all excited when I opened my bag of, well, bags. Some people have a thing for shoes, purses, or whatnot. Me? I take after my dad and love bags- backpacks, shoulder bags, whatever. My collection is spawning.

Clumpity clump clump

I'm not sure what it says about me that it's not at all an unusual occurrence to pour milk on my cereal only to have it come out in clumps. I'm innocent of this most recent charge, though! This time I don't think it was even two weeks in the fridge!

Actually, I've got a pretty good idea what it does say about me, I just don't really care.

Carry on

When your patient can calmly reach over, press the "silence" button, and then continue on with whatever he was doing, either it's just a bunch of artifact or a very unusual presentation of VT. All day.

Interestingly, it was the latter. What do you have to say about that, PALS? Hmm?