I've been reading a book. The authors assert that women and girls have a fundamental question that needs to be answered: Am I lovely? It means, do you see me? Do you want to see me? Are you captivated by what you find in me?
Secondly, they say there are three things women (and girls) long for: To be swept up into a romance (to be romanced), to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be the beauty of the story (to have a beauty to unveil).
On first read, I was offended and put off. It makes us sound egocentric. We aren't completely dependent on validation by others! It's true. But I think they're onto something- humans are social creatures after all. Just ask Maslow. When you really think about what they mean (and set aside cultural connotations of many of the words), I find it difficult to disagree. Also, it's important to keep in mind, they do not mean this to be solely in the context of a dating/marriage relationship. It extends to general life (and God if you believe in him).
Think about it when you have some quiet moments. I'd really like to hear your thoughts and reactions.
I've read that book and really found myself agreeing with it. If it weren't for society telling women this isn't an ok thing to want (that it is weak and being weak isn't ok) I think one would find really that is what you want deep down. How many times have you felt better when you took an extra second to "look nice"? And if you are anything like me that's just for yourself, not for anyone else. Why do we hike? Why do we explore? Why do we move different places? All in search of adventures to create and experience. I think it's right on and I'm not afraid to admit that.
ReplyDeletePS - I'm glad Gaza is doing better. I wanted to take her on a hike with me on Sunday. Sounds like that would have been a terrible idea.
NOW GET SOME SLEEP!!!