Ouch

Last fall I watched Blood Diamond with a friend, and I'm still not over it. I cried and had nightmares about it.

Today I've felt really worn down and exhausted, so I kept it low key and tried to sleep a lot. Then this evening I took Gazza to Barnes & Noble to lose myself for a while. I picked up a couple of books, settled into an overstuffed chair, and absentmindedly fed her some treats until closing. I never made it past the first book- A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier.

I read the entire thing. I didn't realize my foot was asleep or that I had to go to the bathroom or that they were closing the store. When I stood up, I was dizzy- I'm not entirely sure whether it was from not having looked up from the text in two and a half hours or from the story of horror I had just read. I felt awful. Walking out of the store into U Village, my life felt unreal. Watching the teenage boys kicking around a bottle of pop looked different than it had earlier. I'm exhausted.

I understand the credibility debate going on regarding the veracity of parts of Ishmael's story. I also agree with Neil Boothby when he says, "... The system is set up to reward sensational stories. We all need to look at why does something have to be so horrific before we open our eyes and ears and hearts?" But that's not my point here- my point is that the whole thing is horrific.

Sometimes I pick up a book having some vague idea that I may regret it for one reason or another. This was one of them, but as it usually goes, I'm also thankful (but not glad) for having read it.