For example, to think God feels the same grief that I do over these kids is to look at it from a slightly different perspective. People keep saying he wanted them home or that they are in a better place or that their brief suffering was just that- brief (in the relative sense). I'm sorry, but that doesn't do anything for me. To think that maybe God also grieves for them makes me feel validated and not so alone. Maybe I'm not so off-base in struggling so much with it. But why would he grieve, especially if he knows it will all work out for his good?
I wonder, is there really a special place in heaven for kids? My understanding of heaven doesn't let that hold true, and I'm ok with that, but so many people keep saying so. Isn't every soul the same developmentally in heaven, regardless of the confines of their human bodies? The mind, it boggles.
I also felt less alone (and was surprised at how alone I was actually feeling) when surrounded by people who would listen, validate, and encourage me. While I'm not on such great terms with God at the moment, I guess it's nice to know that others who are are helping me limp along and not fall (or purposely walk) too far away.
It still hurts and I suppose it always will to a lesser degree, but it's a comfort to know I'm not alone.
The passage the pastor was talking about last week? John 9:1-12.
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