Getting married, going temporarily jobless, moving across the country, losing said husband for a while, going to volunteer in Africa. The anticipation of going back to a new city, a new home, new friends- all in all another big change. Change is the word of the year. Yes, it was a lot to take in, and it's not even as overwhelming anymore. It feels more like my life again- not somebody else's I stepped into.
So it's not that I'm heartsick, homesick, worried, or anything like that. To various degrees, I'm all of those. I'm definitely not mad; I'm not even really sad. But I don't understand the plan, and just because I believe it's there doesn't make the emotions with the whole experience go away. I don't understand war, I hardly understand religion, I don't know much about relationships, and I'll never know enough about medicine. The enormity of it- the reality- all sometimes threatens to consume me.
After sleeping all day and moving out and about for a whopping seven hours, I'm going back to bed because all I really know is that I'm exhausted.
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