Peleke was supposed to leave earlier this week. We showed up, and I struggled to keep my wits about me and emotions in check (at least until after the final goodbye). There was a delay with a few things, so I got to walk around a bit and observe the hustle and bustle (more bustle, less hustle). Not expecting to get out of the car for more than a few moments in the parking lot, I had dressed in jeans, clogs, pajama top and sweatshirt. So I was forced by the cruel sun to shed the sweatshirt and walk around in the t-shirt and bed head (thankfully still long enough to pull into a pony tail). Nobody was really looking, though, amidst the fanfare. I also got to watch the "birds" take off (I still feel like an impostor calling the planes "birds")- that was neat.
I'll admit to having a cry session in the car after saying goodbye, but I made it home okay... and then I'll admit to turning off the phone and crashing for a couple hours. When I woke up, I saw that Peleke had called. Curious, I tried calling him back and learned that he would leave the following day. So I gathered my wits about me and drove back to base to pick him up. Then we decided to make beef jerky. Now, I just got hooked on Lost (I know, I know, but at least it's not that Twilight series, right?). The episodes are conveniently forty-five minutes long- just the amount of time between flipping the pieces of meat over on the smoker! So we watched an embarrassing number of Lost episodes and made quite a bit of beef jerky. Honestly, the day was very restful and allowed for a lot of quality time together.
The Goodbye 2.0 was significantly easier and less emotionally exhausting the next day. Was it because of all the time spent within eye sight? Was it because most of the emotions had already been purged? Actually, I think those helped but weren't the real reason.
I realized after our false start that it's not really the separation that worries me, although that will be hard. We'll have fun doing our respective services and of course we'll miss each other terribly, but that's ok. We'll be better than fine- it's a growing opportunity and I suspect we'll ironically grow closer as well as individuals. Anyway, what I mean to say is that I worry most about his safety.
It's one thing to trust God in matters of your personal well-being (and even the well-being of patients), but I'm having a hard time trusting God with Peleke's safety. As if I have any bearing on it anyway. So here's to learning how to give over fears for his safety- both to God and to Peleke himself. Maybe I should give him some more credit after all the training and his gifts and talents for what he does ;)
But I wouldn't mind your prayers and thoughts for him.
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