Hold that thought

There's so much to think about for when I get home. A life full of choices and joy. The very fact that I have so many decisions is a lot to take in- soaps, clothes, and of course food. And jobs. And whether the dog should stay on Prozac.* A new home. A husband. A drastically changed life. It's all good- I've been amazingly blessed- but it's a lot to think about. It often threatens to overwhelm me.

In many ways, being here on the Africa Mercy has been less stressful than the past six months! My daily life is pretty regimented, allowing the free time to be devoted to taking care of myself by way of exploring my current African home, working on close friendships, and soaking in the community. It's like a distilled life. I'm learning how to set aside, truly distance myself from things that shouldn't be dealt with just yet. It may sound like a simpleton thing to say, but it's something I've always struggled with.

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

You're putting the cart before the horse.

Worrying won't accomplish anything.

It's too much here. I don't have the emotional reserve to keep a foot in both worlds. If I think about home too much, it's too easy to focus on what we can't do here in our floating hospital. And for personal reasons, I can't imagine going back to American nursing after this. And I really can't bear to think about long, luxurious showers.

So in a rare instance, I whole-heartedly believe I'm doing the right thing by setting those things aside. Aside from the obvious fact that a central part of me is far away, my life is here. Of course, the true measure of a lesson learned is how it is applied in the future...

*admittedly not a decision made by many people, but not one to be made lightly either!